terrors, headaches, skin rashes, tactile hallucinations, diarrhea,
vomiting, blurred vision, night sweats, depression, anxiety! Now I
was sick! Having never reported any symptoms (short of a 3 week "flu")
I was confused as to how these medications were helping me. My family
and friends began to worry as I hadn't left my house at this point
in 15 days, something had to give. Death, Death, Death: Everywhere
I looked and HIV diagnosis meant death and that self fulfilling prophecy
was sure to rear it's ugly head once again. My very good friend and
confidant offered me a trip to Boston in hopes of getting through
to me. Earlier I had received a book in the mail about HIV but was
too afraid to read it. This unwitting "vacation" was the
turning point for me and a plane ride that I will never forget.
participants in this culture we are "programmed" to some
degree on different planes for different causes. Not necessarily
premeditated programming but as a result of the natural progression
of our culture. We are creatures of habit and also of convenience.
If something works for one person then we generally and naturally
assume that it will work for us. If we feel a headache then we are
"programmed" that an aspirin will make it go away. If
your stomach is upset, take something to make it stop.
site is devoted to those who want to break out of this programming
and become active in their own life cycle. It is devoted to those
who want to make a difference, not for others but for yourself!
In this life cycle I learned a very hard lesson: You cannot make
a difference to those around you unless you first seek out what
makes you happy, healthy and enlightened. Only then can you contribute
successfully to other life cycles around you.
have been "programmed" that HIV= AIDS = Death. Well I
am here to remind you that this formula does not apply to everyone.
Seek out your own healing, your own fullness and celebrate the thousands
upon thousands of people that you don't see portrayed in movies.
Those that are not singled out on the local news channels. Celebrate
those that successfully live full, happy lives. Those that live
everyday with HIV and are healthy and "program" free.
Those that have sought to take charge of their bodies and seek out
alternative remedies and have in the process found a quality of
life that otherwise would never have been realized.